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well that cheered me right up i'd like to return this week, maybe trade it in for a nice shiny bottle of nail polish. well, it just doesn't fit right. and i think the stitching's all wrong there on the left sleeve. yes i know i've worn it, but i haven't washed it yet if that makes a difference. it was on sale when i got it? hell, that explains a lot. yeah ok, no i don't want my receipt. sigh. how can it only be wednesday? why the hell isn't it thanksgiving weekend and my lovely husband has wisked me off for a romantic weekend? oh that's right, because this is reality. fuck, i was trying to forget. yeah, ok i'm having a bad week. mostly it's because i'm feeling a little sad and green. and i've got a chip on my shoulder. and if you must know, it's the hub's fault. what did the poor guy do now? that fucker's in VEGAS. WITHOUT ME. sniff. i mean yeah, he's there for a business conference. or so he says. funny every time i call he seems to be drunk and in the middle of somewhere that sounds a lot like a brothel, but yeah he's "working". and i'm here, really working. and i've got the boy. so he's the only one that's getting any type of vacation. i suppose it's not too bad. i'm bored out of my mind and going to bed at 9pm every night because i can't think of anything else to do, nevermind that i can't sleep because i don't have someone pushing me out of bed and laying on me at the same time. but it's fine. it's fine that i don't have to cook at all. i don't have to make 20 pounds of chips a week. i don't have to turn off 'queer eye' for rugby. it's fine. it's also fine that amid all this, poor babyj has contracted a nasty bit of strep throat from some other snotty brat at school. it's fine that me missing a few days of work, in the middle of my probationary period because of this, could get me fired. it's also fine that my "supposed" best friend is being the biggest bee-yotch in the entire ginormous world and giving me the silent treatment. and yes, it's fine that i seem to be the only person in the state that actually knows how to drive.it's fiiiinnneeee. yes. but it's only 2 more days and everything will go back to normal. *knock on wood* humph. does particle board count? Fucking hell on a pogo stick and ummm, err, cunt. ooo i got all ranty there. excellent.on a happier note, the good thing that happened this week was babyj's birthday. my tiny little man has turned 4. FO' MOTHERBLINKIN' YEARS OLD. shocking. i don't think it's flown by like people say, i actually think year 3 was the longest in history, but i know that he's changed so quickly that i hardly recognize him sometimes. i often just watch him, like an outside observer, and notice little things i don't see throughout the day. how deep his dimple is getting. how very blue his eyes look in the sunlight. how his little fingers fit perfectly into my palm. how his hair has that little curl behind the ears, and how his little tongue pokes out of the side of his mouth when he concentrates, like mine. he's a miracle. my light. and now he's four. i'm so blessed. yes, that was how the week started off, and it could only have gone downhill. so of course it did. but i should think about him more often and it won't be so bad. i think i'll find something good for us to do tomorrow. turn our day off into an advantage. and i think i'll hold his hand the whole time. good night cukes. think of something good tonight and hold onto it or them. -pops
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*new old* *book
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