the trip

and on the 5th day god created plunbers with mullets... and he saw that it was good.

the hot water has returned to our fair abode, at very little expense, and no blame on our part. something about rubber deteriorating and weak gas. whatever. all i know is i was able to bathe without the aid of a tea kettle and a bucket. i am fresh and clean, so i shall get on with the news of the wales vacation.

as i said, overall it was a good trip. things were definitely smoother and less stressful this time around. perhaps it was because babyj is able to handle change more, perhaps it was just because we were all ready for it this time.

in the past it was something that had to be done, things were awkward and exhausting- but this time it all fell into place, we slept well, we had our own space and we smiled a lot.

the hubs girls- now 11 and 9- were easy to be with, open and fully adoring of babyj. there didn't seem to be any side taking and resentments weren't popping up as they can, and we were all the better for it.

so let's do the rundown....

the first thing i need to talk about is "airplane etiquette"...

things to do and not do if you're on a plane and want to be regarded as a nice human being.

1. DO NOT put your seat into full reclining position the minute you sit your ass in it, and then refuse to put it up until you get off the plane. this will anger the people sitting behind you who cannot eat, move, or breathe because of it. and more than likely, they will be thinking of ways to insert their swizzle stick into your skull in the most painful way.

2. DO NOT insist on turning the volume on your headphones all the way up. just because they're headphones doesn't mean no one else can hear what you're hearing. i also don't give a flying fuck what you're listening to- opera at full volume at 3 am is no better than rap.

3. DO mind your own damned business. if my child suddenly starts screaming because someone has pinched him, do not turn around to look angrily at the parents. it is not their fault the child is acting like a child. they should not be made to feel guilty for it by having your cross-eyed self staring at them.

4. DO "accidentally" have the flight attendant spill a full tray of cups of water on you if you'd like to own a nice comfy pair of first class pajamas like i do.

5. DO NOT stand in the aisle collecting and organizing your shit while everyone else on the plane is trying to disembark. someone might still have an extra swizzle stick that would be handy to shove in your ass.

and that is all i have to say about that.

so we flew, we lived. we rented a car and drove the 4 hours to wales from london despite being so tried none of us remember how we got there. we slept. the next day we saw the girls. buff, the 9 year old has found her voice and is full of questions.

"did you have babyj in your belly when he was born?

what hospital was he born at?

did you push?

for how long?

you don't live in a flat you live in a bungalow, is it?

is it because you're too lazy to walk up the stairs?"

you could just see her walking around formulating questions to ask you. it was almost scary because you honestly didn't know what she'd ask next.

bex, the older one, was quiet and shy as usual, and maintained that it wasn't because she was thinking about a boy. boy's are icky you know. silly me.

i think the highlight of the whole week was the theme park we went to. you can check it out here. despite the fact that babyj woke up puking that morning, everything was fine, a nice day, everyone in a good mood and excited ... and then the pirate ship happened.

i will relate the story as i have heard because my mind has blocked most of it out. so, the pirate ship is one of those swinging things, you go back and forth, you say ooooo aaaahhhh and you get off. child's play. nothing scary about that, right? ha. i didn't want to get on it, but my better judgement sometimes goes the way of my spine, and i got on. it starts swinging and i start to panic. the damned thing hadn't been going for more than 10 seconds when i went into full blown hysterics. onlookers say we hadn't even done two full swings when they heard the screams. my hands were stuck to my face, i was kicking and crying and nearly ready to pass out. i can only remember wanting to cry but feeling confused that i couldn't catch my breathe to do it. apparently it was because i was screaming in short continuous bursts at the top of my lungs. after what seemed like forever the hub motioned the man to stop it and the thing started to slow down. when it stopped, i was still screaming but now i had the full body shakes. as the hub is escorting me off because i'd gone temporarily blind, i hear the carny say...

"sheesh. i only had it on half speed."

thanks for that, you bastard.

anyway, once i had a good cry and sorted my jelly legs out, i was fair play. the jokes never stopped. not for the rest of the day, not for the rest of the trip. it's great to be the butt of every joke. they wouldn't be laughing so hard had i thrown up on them and then had a stroke. heh.

the only other memorable thing from the day was that babyj rode his first roller coaster and enjoyed it immensely. it was all he could talk about afterwards.

i have to say that the rest of the week paled in comparison to that day. we went on drives by the ocean, walked through forests, played a lot, shopped a bit, and suddenly, i began to miss wales.

it's peaceful there, calm, small town feelings. it's always green and fresh and i feel restful just looking at the fields and the culture. i don't suppose we'll ever move back because there isn't much of a life in a place like that, but i wouldn't mind it if we did.

well i wouldn't mind any of it except the walking. i have never walked so much in my life. it's like you weird ass briton just don't understand what cars are for. they're not just little miniature toys you get in to see how fast they go, they are meant to keep you from wearing out every bone and muscle in your legs.

no wonder OAP's need two canes there instead of just one.

anywho, we went back to london on saturday to see the hub's sister, have some curry, and get ready to come home. normally we spend a day seeing sights and things, but this time we just had a quiet day walking around camden market and relaxing in the hotel.

the flight back isn't much to tell, it was long and babyj slept most of it. i saw 'daredevil', which was decent. 'chicago', which was horribly overrated. and 'gangs of new york', which i thought could have been shortened a bit, but was fascinating anyway.

so all in all, entertaining and good. i'm glad we went, and i'm glad to be home. i missed dear old diaryland, and you.

it took me all morning yesterday to catch up, and it was nice.

so ummm, that's it. if i think of anything else more interesting to tell you, i'll be back, i've gone on long enough.

cheers, cukes.

-pops

seeds - bloom