sleepy rants

i strongly urge any of you reading this to beware of the "bernie botts every flavour bean". seriously. my innocent-acting child graciously handed me a "vomit" flavoured one earlier and i was stupid enough to put it in my mouth.

in my defence i assumed that they wouldn't really make a VOMIT flavoured candy, it had to be something like peanut butter... but i was wrong.

oh so wrong.

i honestly wretched for five full minutes. it took all the power i had to keep my lunch where it belonged. it was horrid and oh so wrong.

damn you bertie bott, you fictional candy maker you. i know just where i'd like to stick the rest of the box of beans.

in other news, i've been busy today. or busier than normal. it's exciting when i actually leave the house these days. i even did my hair and put real clothes on. can i get a 'mini wave' in honour of me? gooooo poppy.

of course a decent nights sleep does wonders in energy i have found.

i've always been a deep sleeper. i can sleep with the best of them, and i love to sleep. but lately it's been really hard. 3 nights in a row i was up in the middle of the night for no reason.

sitting in the dark smoking til i hack up a lung and watching really good tv like "pet psychic" and "animal cops". i mean you can't get much better than people talking to and cleaning up dead animals at 4 in the morning can you?

anyway, i don't know why i haven't been sleeping. i can't tell you what goes through my head that keeps me awake. i'm not overly worried about anything, i just can't sleep.

maybe it could be the fact that i can't get comfortable, which either is the fault of my mothers mattress or the hub. or a little of both. it's hard to get used to a new mattress i suppose, but it's even harder to get used to the way the hub sleeps.

after 4 years you'd think i'd understand it, you could think that, but you would not be successful.

apparently he thinks i'm in the bed purely for his comfort. i'm like his personal pillow. he lays on me in practically every position he's in. it's imperative that some part of me be touching him, propping him up in some way. don't be fooled people, it's not sweet or romantic. it's annoying as hell. but i'm sure he'd say the same thing about me.

first off, i do not like to be touched when i'm sleeping. i want my own space.

second, i'm sorry if me being heavier than you makes the bed slope or something, but i can't really help that.

third, i move. A LOT. it takes me a long while to find the exact spot that induces sleep and if i don't find it, i will keep moving. bouncing and rocking and pulling-of-sheets, all of it.

there really is no compromise to be had here. we've been fighting about it from day one. that's when the hub invaded my nocturnal habits. he told me to turn off the radio, close all the windows, turn off the fan, and cwch (pronounced "cooch", but is spelt in welsh there for your confusion).

he's like the midnight hitler ordering me around. short of getting twin beds, one of us sleeping with babyj, or me killing him and burying his body in the backyard, there isn't a resolution in sight. yet.

i bought some melatonin today. i'm not big on herbal remedies and all that malarkey, but i used to take melatonin when i was younger at the urging of my mom. she insisted it would help me sleep better, but i think she hoped it would knock me out so i didn't sneak out of the house to shoot up or get pregnant. anyway, it helps a little, it stops me thinking and makes me drowsy. or it did then and i hope it still will.

why am i rambling on about this? well, that's easy. because i am the most boring person ever, that's why.

ugh. i guess i'll be off now. feel like baking a cake or something.

awww bless. i'm like a little house wife.

-pops

seeds - bloom