oh hello

i know i haven't updated in ages. i honestly don't know what i'm going to do with this journal.

as you can see, i've let my gold membership lapse, and i'm still debating on wether i should sign up again, not bother at all, or sign up with another diary altogether.

i recently got another diary, a paper one, that i have so far kept secret and at work, and at first it was nice to just get all the stuff i don't talk about here out, but i think the newness of it wore off rahter quickly, and it too has falledn by the wayside.

so don't feel neglected dear diary, you are not alone.

i just wanted to pop in tonight because i felt i should say something after all this time- but now i'm here, i don't know exactly what that something should be.

there really hasn't been much going on.

the hub was just away for another week on business. this time to texas- which i wasn't jealous of at all- i've been there, and apologies to you crazy proud texans- but it's horrible. especially in any month that doesn't end in -ber. i didn't really have a good week without him, i always assume it will be nice to have some me time and not have to cook, and watch whatever i want on tv, but i always end up missing him and not being able to sleep without him. by the time he gets back i'm exhausted. so i suppose that's nice.

i recently got in touch with an old friend, and it's been really nice and refreshing to talk to someone who knew me then, someone i have ties to. so far it's just been playing catch up, but it's been fresh. fresh is the best word for it. and not in the PHat PHresh way... just fresh.

other than that, work is still crap. i've officially stopped talking to my manager who i've decided is way down the list of nice people i've met in my life. i'm not even sure she's on it at this point.

but really it's not so much her, it's the whole lot of them- it's like they really don't give a flying shit. which, in reality, they probably don't. but they could act like it i think. i don't want to be coddled- by any means, but i do want some recognition when i deserve it, i want to be listened to, to be treated like they like that i work there, and most of all- i don't want to be treated like a child.

all in all, i'm not much fussed about working there, would quit in a second if it weren't for the friends i've made and the not wanting to sit around the house-ness. i'll stick it out till something better bites me on the butt.

and that's about it from me. i won't talk about the weather, or my mom, or money... i'll just go back to cooking dinner... sneaking out quietly.

have a good one cukes.

-pops

seeds - bloom