the stuff ugh

i just have not had the oomph to update here, i don't know why. i'm sure there have been things i wanted to put down, but it floats away before i can say it.

it's not as if there hasn't been enough going on, i've got something that needs to be done nearly everyday, but amongst it all i just haven't been feeling myself. i feel a bit spacey, content to stare out the window and watch the trees sway; and a bit touchy and snappy. today more than ever but that might have to do with the attempted poisoning of the family last night.

i tried a new recipe for stuffed pasta shells, and it was good. good for the first 10 minutes and then i felt like there was a 50 pound weight in my stomach trying to push it's way out. unfortunately the hub felt the same, so the normal patronizing i get when i'm sick didn't seem as much fun to him. i'll spare you the gross details of it and just say i don't feel well at all. bless, eh?

ok so in other news...

the hub's surgery has finally been pinned down to the 21st of may. it gives a time period to look forward to, and i feel anxious about it, more than before. the hub hasn't said much about how he feels lately, and that's a little worrying.

but before all that goes down we've got a nice family jaunt. a vacation in the windy welsh homeland. we're squeezing it in before the surgery, it has been far too long since we were last there. and surprisingly, i'm actually looking forward to it. it's been like a year and a half since i've been there, and i think now that babyj's a bit older it might be a little smoother. he can watch movies now and concentrate a little longer on something activities so i'm keeping my fingers crossed that he won't run off and accidently charge into the cockpit, scaring the pilot into a heartattack, causing the plane to crash. that's not really the type of vacation i'm looking for.

of course i might think differently once we're actually there. usually somewhere about the 3rd day i'm hoping for a tsunami to come and wash me away.

this time we're changing things up, instead of staying with the hub's family, we're getting a hotel room. this is like a godsend, it'll cut the hours i have to worry about the boy breaking some priceless antique and then stabbing the 94 year old grandmother in the eye with a piece of it, down to about 16 from 24. i could cry i'm so thankful.

but really, it'll be good to get away and see the hub's daughters and let the boy be around family. he doesn't get that very often. i mean, i don't think he really understands who these 'sisters' are that we make him talk to every week.

that's pretty much it, i'm just trying to move myself to start packing and doing what needs to be done for everyone.

i'm so sorry that i can't be more exciting, i just don't have it in me right now. honestly, i don't feel like i have anything in me.

dammit i feel depressed now, i'm off to eat the entire pan of turtle brownies and curse jen for suggesting them.

-pops

seeds - bloom