well?

god i know i haven't been here for ages, or what feels like ages anyway.

i wish i could say that i've been busy, but the truth would be that my pc's gone down the crapper again, and i just haven't had much to say.

today, in my extreme boredom (that happens when you quit your job hehe) i have created this weird layout. i don't know if i love it, just felt like i needed a change and this is what came out. i had to use the hub's pc to make it, and so i don't know how it really looks. it always seems like his colours and fonts are different than mine which makes me wonder what all of you see.

at any rate, as usual, please let me know what you think about it, i'd be most interested.

so far the only good i can see are the pears and a somewhat spring-y feel to it. but it also feels wistful to me. ummm yeah.

anyway. yes, you heard that right. i quit my job. i guess i just got tired of the crap, the pay wasn't worth it, and it's not hugely important that i work right now. that and i'm sooooo fucking lazy it's unbelievable. in the meantime i've taken the sprout out of school and we're just hanging out while i think of something else to do.

the weather is just too nice now to be inside all day anyway. i think it is anyway, i haven't actually been outside today. hehe

outside of that, all is going well. we're getting bits and pieces of huge bills paid off and settling in more and more.

i suppose i feel like we're alright. i haven't been feeling much lately. i'm not holding back, i just honestly don't feel any particular way. is that weird?

i get a lot of reviews that say it seems like i want to say something but i hesitate and then keep it to myself. unfortunately i have to agree with that. after a year of having this i'm still self-concious and worried that i might say something i can't take back. it's happened before.

it feel wrong to have this and not be completely truthful, but i don't know what else to do. i think the next time i feel something i will test the waters and see what happens.

disclaimers don't work but if i had one i'd say that you who know me shouldn't be here, and if you intend to stay please don't be hurt or offended by what i say, i'm just rambling half the time anyway.

ok totally off the subject there, but i suppose it's a good time to go since i haven't showered yet.

take care cucumbers...

-pops

seeds - bloom